Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate – Carl Jung
Old pain doesn’t heal itself. It actually spreads when you don’t heal it. Unresolved childhood trauma can gravitate you towards unhealthy relationships. Unprocessed fears of rejection can strain and break apart friendships. So we need to search for our unconscious pain, find what needs to be healed, and put in the work. Otherwise, you’ll blame life for many misfortunes which all sprang from the weed you chose not to pull out. Never forget: when we ignore our demons, they go to the basement of our minds and lift weights.
Do not be the victim of your life story – Unknown
I love this quote because it’s like a splash of cold water. So life sucks sometimes. People disappoint us, things don’t go according to plan, and there’s some problems we can’t solve. But this is your life. You are the only thing you can control. So are you going to be the victim of your story? Are you going to wait to be rescued? Why don’t you be the hero of your story instead? It feels way better, and even if it doesn’t go smoothly at least you’re the one deciding what you do next. And if you’re not sure what to do next, ask your favorite authors.
Will this get you closer to where you want to go? Do not invite regret into your life. – Unknown
This quote is a great measuring stick for each action you are considering. Is it going to get you closer to your goals? Or is it a step backwards? Sure you can eat 10 doughnuts if your goal is to lose weight…but you’re inviting regret into your life. You’re trying to get North and running South. It’s not about working 24/7 and never taking a day off, but do your future self a favor and don’t give them one more reason to feel regret. Let’s not forget our pain affects other people too.
It is not what happens to us, but our response to to what happens that hurts us – Stephen Covey
You can choose a response in any situation. I’m not saying you can choose not to feel pain (and ignoring pain you feel is never a good idea). But once you’ve had a chance to sit with the pain and feel it and understand it, there are other responses you can choose too. I don’t want you to choose to replay and stew over toxic feelings over and over, that is only going to create more pain. Do you want to choose something different this time? A mistake repeated more than once is a decision.
Ego is our faulty map of the world. Clinging to the map as the world changes is suffering – Unknown
Do you focus only on the plan you had for life? Does it distress you when things don’t go according to plan? That pain is dangerous for two reasons. First, life is too unpredictable to try and control, and you’ll always be a nervous wreck if you can’t roll with the punches of life. Secondly, there is a massive amount of opportunity hiding in places we wouldn’t expect. If all you ever see are the doors life didn’t open for you, you’ll miss all the open doors that were better than the one you knocked on.