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Punishing yourself does not get you closer to your goal

How do you treat yourself when you screw up your diet, miss a due date you had for yourself, or have some other setback? Any of these sound familiar? Viciously attacking yourself mentally Trying to repent by over exercising, overworking, or some other feverish over compensation Feel like a failure, worthless, broken Wonder why you […]

ai

What AI Can Teach You About Self Improvement

In Artificial Intelligence it’s really important to balance between Exploration and Exploitation. It is a simple idea that is really relevant to self-improvement. Let’s talk about it. Exploration This is how many new things the AI tries. You can configure AI to randomize itself frequently and do lots of experiments, which is important for discovering […]

speed

“Pain is Knowledge Rushing in with Great Speed”

This quote by Jerry Seinfeld hit me pretty hard. Learning important lessons can hurt a lot. Maybe it’s learning that your soulmate is not who you thought it was. Maybe it’s learning that your old identity doesn’t fit you anymore. Maybe the things you thought would make you happy are making you miserable. The pain […]

Does it hurt enough yet?

Humans are so strange. We continue to make the same mistakes long after we know they are mistakes. In fact, the only reason we ever change course is if continuing hurts more than changing. Usually changing course hurts a lot. The unemployed person who fears many things might keep hiding from job applications as long […]

spreadsheet

Why you need a Habit Tracker (free template included)

Here’s the bottom line: We fix problems that hurt. Spreadsheets are a dead simple way to see what problems you’re fixing and which ones are just getting worse. How it works I have columns for reading, exercise, journal, meditation, and gratitude practice.  Each row is a day, X denotes I completed that habit that day […]

proud

I’m Proud of You

Do you realize how many things you’re doing right? Maybe they all seem like autopilot right now, but they are more rare than you think and I’m proud as hell of all the things you do well. 1. You don’t give up I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m not saying you enjoy every item on […]

crutches

Can we talk about your crutches?

Tell me which crutch you use. The thing you reach for to fill the moments when it’s uncomfortable to be with your thoughts. Is it social media? TV? Weed? Booze? Alcohol? Which distraction feels better than those thoughts you’re hiding from? Here’s the thing. Your mind is your home. It’s the home only you can […]

books

Best Books on Healing Pain

Self Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself – Kristen Neff, PhD It’s hard to move forward when you tear yourself down constantly on the inside. This book helped me realize that I was the main person holding myself back because I was so hard on myself all the time. When my internal […]

relationship quotes

Best Quotes on Relationships

What if this was the last time you ever spoke with them? – Unknown Relationships are hard. Sometimes it gets tense. Sometimes you just want space and everything they say grates your nerves. But we don’t know how much time we have on this Earth. What if they stormed out after an argument and got […]

motivation quotes

Best Quotes on Motivation

Embrace this moment, remember. We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion. – Parabola (song) by Tool It’s easy to get demotivated when you feel like lots of stuff is going poorly. When everything hurts and you can’t see past the pain, but most of the painful thoughts we have are not ‘real,’ per-se. […]

fear quotes

Best Quotes on Overcoming Fear

Do it scared – Rory Valden Some things will always be scary. Some of the most important conversations you’ll ever have will be uncomfortable. There’s no way around that. But this can be empowering too. If you know talking to your boss about a raise will always be scary…why wait? You’ll be scared if you […]

run from pain

You can’t find love by running from pain

I know you’re lonely. I get it. You wish there was someone there. You wish someone could hold you. Maybe you just wish they could get you out of your head for 5 minutes. Your feelings are legitimate, and there’s so many people in the same boat. It hurts to be alone. It hurts to […]

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